Trudging Through the Tough Stuff

So I am no longer sure what week we are in the continuation, but oh man I have seriously fallen off the wagon….

Fall-off-the-wagon-cat
It bothers me that sometimes is spelt wrong…. Not very yellow of me I think

 

 

A Little disappointed in that but I have been in contact with my mastermind, it’s about the only thing I’ve been able to keep up at a similar pace…. Reading has been on a all time low, so have the sits… these are the things I am not proud of..   All that being said I still firmly believe in this new way of being…. I’ve allowed my self to become so consumed by finding a new place for my family to live…. ( as a necessity we are to be out of this house by May 31, and have yet to secure a place all circumstance, by that I mean I don’t know how I have created this into being my reality) I pack, and search the internet almost daily, Oats is working pretty well for me, on the days I stick to it…

I had a rough two days of tears and fears…. my mastermind and really good friend totally had my back, thank you; you all know who you are.

So full plate, I have a very full plate……. lol and it’s a bumpy ride I’m currently on.  I can’t help but observe, how what is going on right now wasn’t something I was focused on…. Actually quite the opposite to be honest, but some how this house shopping feels like a crazy maker, the ups and downs the fears the amount of TIME it’s taking!!! lol I try to laugh at it…. but man it’s not always easy at the moment….

My 6 year old and I were having a heated conversation past her bed time, and I was listening to myself yell at my baby, and tried to stop but just couldn’t so I took the route of yelling how it’s not that I’m mad at her… It’s that I’m not controlling my emotions as good as I can… So through watery eyes she says, “so your flustered?” I smiled and yelled yes. lol  Then frowned more at my self for still not controlling my volume.. as we talked on I did start talking normal again, and she said something else…. She said I was getting better.

Through out this whole Mkmma Journey I have been explaining to my children that all these things I’m doing it’s so I can be an even more awesome, fun, exciting mommy. But that’s it’s hard work and I needed their understanding that these times are for me where I HAVE to be alone in quiet…… Now that I am logging todays observations I am realizing with all this packing, purging, and searching, I haven’t been making time for my new better serving habits…. I need to do those things, I like who I am when my new habits are being fed..

I love how aware I am now, how much clearer I see to the truth of a matter…. I know what I should be doing, now I guess I just have to DO IT NOW!!!!!    Thanks for reading!!

Week 30 — Random Scroll 7 Thoughts

So other random ramblings, this months scrolls… Which I am throughly enjoying, though I don’t know if Og would have set out to have these thoughts running through a persons head upon reading his book. 

In the first paragraph it is written “No living creature can laugh except man. Trees may bleed when they are wounded, and beasts in the field will cry in pain and hunger, yet only I have the gift of laughter and it is mine to use whenever I choose.”
This is literally the beginning of the scroll and this little bit always stays with me….. So here are my random thoughts on this matter.

If love, joy, happiness, and everything positive, which I allot laughter into “everything positive”…. I think animals have their own language the same as the human race, has many languages, and I speak english so I do not understand someone speaking dutch, or french… but they can laugh….. plus I have lived out in the country long enough that I have herd some wild, domestic, and farm animals make some really interesting sounds. but lets just focus on the cattle that live just down the road. I have listened to them make some real odd sounds, and then witnessed other cows, walk over to the cow making the funny noise.. Much like a people being drawn to other people laughing.

So then my thoughts go back to languages, I have a friend and co-worker who is amazing with horses, I was listening to her talk one day about how she can look at a horse and know its breeding, she can tell what breeds have been mixed, then upon spending time with the animal she can walk away and let a person know how easy this horse will be to break, or what it would best be used for. So in essence, my friend may not speak “horse” but she defiantly has an understanding of horse language, even if she wouldn’t think to put it into those words..
I also have honestly thought at times my dog was laughing at my kids when they do something silly…. 
So I’m jumping the fence I think animals being their own race of a type of being with a soul, could totally have their brand of sense of humour. and their own type of laughter that I don’t understand..  
Not that I think Og is wrong in his writings I believe he gets the point across beautifully we must laugh, at our selves, situations, successes, everything….. It is a proven scientific fact that laughter heals. That most of the population needs to exercise their ability to laugh more, life shouldn’t be as serious as we are all creating it to be… 

Contituation Week 3 — Random Thoughts

Some thoughts that I’ve been having since week 26.. While trying to think of blog topics.First new friends people I’ve only known for about 6 years or so have been saying to me, Wow Krystal thats really random? Where is this coming from, or What made you think of that? (All this in a positive manner)

One night while sitting and reflecting on a comment about my randomness of some thing I said, and thinking….. That really struck them as odd???😳  Then later in the evening I was talking to a close friend from high school, and I left him a message on his answering machine a few days earlier, where all I remember was being my old sarcastic self that he would remember from our high school days…. His comment was something along the lines of how happy he has been for me, that he totally sees a difference in me… He hears, more of the old me. It was eye opening to listen to his thoughts on the differences he notices in me… He even made validating points on his perception on how I was in high school. I had stated in my PIF application and numerous times I was joined this group and embarked on this journey to “find missing pieces of my self”; My friend in just one conversation was able to verbalize parts of my personality the way I presented my self and how I spoke to people in words I would have never thought of using.

All his interpretations were positive, where all interpretations of the same parts of me have not been expressed in such a positive manner…. So our conversation like most of our conversations ended with one of our phones dying. But I was left feeling better; feeling a much deeper sense of love for both myself and my friend… I love how everything comes at just the rights moments. I totally needed to hear his thoughts, and perceptions.

Continuation  Week 2– Turbulence!

So since commencement, I have not been doing as well as I thought I would be.. Which is fine; some things I have been doing great at. So I have been taking stock of where I am maintaining and where I need to be more diligent.
It’s hard to stay on track, but I am going to keep plugging away at my new habits.

I have been good with communicating with my master mind group for support, though I did realize that I had to be more open with where I am… So I did I went in one afternoon and expressed all my woes and hold backs and how I am struggling against my old blue print and myself trying to figure out how I am bringing this all into manifestation?

I will own that some part of this is my doing as well as possibly others around me bringing it into reality as well… But geeze! I’m feeling very overwhelmed with my life…
I feel a bit like my old blueprint, has taken over and my new blue print is screaming in the background…… Like I am constantly hearing you got this girl you know what you should be doing Do IT Now!!!! Do it now…. Why aren’t you doing it?
So I express these things to my master mind group, and Kelvin is the first to respond with some sound irrefutable logic, on how no I may feel derailed and off and like I’m losing, but I do got this! I do have the tools and education to get through this, I know my own power, I just need to start recongnizing it and acknowledge that it is with in me already.
Danny was next up with a very valid point of I am not utilizing OATS.. and I should be… That is not at all what he said though… He asked if maybe I should re visit OATS and re familiarize 

Week 25 (26) – Self Assement 

After my read and sit I have decided I need to sleep on my thoughts some more and I will be up dating this post tomorrow… Thank you for your understanding 

Well I forgot tomorrow NEVER comes!!! Lol

So My thoughts from the last week of mkmma were all confusing… everyone acting like this was the end when I saw it as just the beginning of the tough parts being so much more self motivated and left for longer peroids to stay on track…….

Week 24 (23) – Synchronicities

So I totally realize I am a week late, this post really needs to see the world…

How often do you have those days where you feel like you have herd the same story three times from three different people, or every conversation you have touches on the same topics…… Even though you don’t go there? 

I have often noticed these things, happenings, synchronicities, since joining the MKE I notice them much more often, and each time I reconize these synchronicities,  I learn something new, I gain a deeper under standing of something I already know, or some times just feel more connected to the universe.

So last week, my big obvious synchronicities were Cats, and egyption knowledge.. 

I see a person who knew their sprirt guide
 For months and months my husband and would have these wonderful converations about acient egypt and what kind of knowlege was lost. We have great fun speculating, if they were alien, if they were human and figured out space travel.  I’m more often the one on the spiritual side of the conversation, where hubby identifies with aliens or space travellers…..  So in just one day alone, I start thinking about cats, I happen to see a lot of cats that day (which is rare) and I also had cats in my dreams of the night before, I’m talking to a girlfriend about something and she says….. Omg I finally understand a message I’ve been getting for you for a long time! Do you know one of you spirit guides is a cat? You should look into it. Lmao well a couple days previous I was thinking of looking up a cat being a spirit guide, (Not for me but for someone else……… Or so I thought!!!!) my friend says for a long while now every time we talk I see egypt and cats, you know like the cat head dresses and such, lmao I laugh cause egypt has been a fun, imagationary experience for hubby and I for some time…… Fast forward a few hours and my husband is sitting in front of the television, watching some documentairy on netflix about egypt, more specifically the pyrmids….. It was quiet the show, I found while I was watching it the professionals were verbalizing my side of our dibates and spiritual talks, plus saying a lot of the things that are in the MKE! 

The MKE helps us focus in on being a observer, not just see the happenings, but observing things unbiased, letting them be so we can see the real beauty in every partical…. 

As we are nearing in the end of our live webby part of this journey I find I see so much more….. lmao makes me think of this song.. I can see clearly now.. By Jimmy Cliffe I think his name is… Well this wouldn’t be the only song that pops into my head, it’s one of many… 

  
Here is an image that gives me goose bumps every time I read hannel or og…..  Standing in a field surrounded by everything natural in the world and accecpting it, breathing it in, allowing everything to be one with you, allowing it to fill you up and heal you, use it to heal others…….

This one image, is both soothing and a smidge scary for me, it’s what we have been talking about for weeks in the MKE letting go, completely letting go and allowing our natural self/being take over, stop trying to control everything, just allow our nature take care of us….   I see my self right at the edge of this,  soon I will fly…….
Thank you for reading my week 23 post…. 

Have a wonderful day, and see the synchronicity, observe how everything really does blend like a rainbow into the next thing.. 

  

Week 23 (22a) — Awakenings

heart
I greet this day with love in my Heart.

Sitting here staring at the computer screen wondering what to write…….

Well honestly it’s been a wonderful week, busy and non-stop, but wonderful! I really can not express how being in any sort of harmony with the universe, brings about such great daily results..

We are on a self-directed week, at least that’s what I have been thinking, and so for my master key reads I have been fanning through the pages and stopping when my intuition, tells me, which has been amazing! The last time we had one of these weeks at first I was feeling kind of lost not really knowing how to decide what to read… but as I am growing I am learning that I know everything I need, I just have to listen, and the more I listen to my “I” the more I amaze myself.

Another report worthy happening, I was able to have 2-3ish hours of silence a couple times this week, I know in the grand skeem of things that’s not a lot of time, but it is what I can do and grow upon, the first bit of silence I took, really helped money manifesting things click into place, I finally feel like I get it, when trying to manifest financhial wealth before, I knew I was skipping over some important parts, holding on to thoughts that needed to be never thought of again. I got it I really got it and I set it all in motion right away, now I haven’t come into a ton of money in this mere days but for the first time EVER I feel it coming….. I know it’s coming I am feeling the same excitement I felt the day of all these pieces making sense, and every day like 3 sometimes 10 times throughout my day I remember…. “Feel the joy Krystal, you have X amount of money and never have to worry again, feel the joy honey you have done it!” then I feel all the joy and happiness from all the things I am going to do in the world because I’m financially FREE! I am more excited than I have been in a long time!

I also have had some other really amazing experiences, I live across the country from the people I grew up with and I don’t get to talk to all of them as often as I would like but I know when they need me I feel it, or I hear them, well I have been having these experiences more often, so this one started about 2 weeks ago. I was being urged to contact a friend, but I just wasn’t making the time to call and feel their joy with them, until one afternoon this week the sense of urgency finally peaked and I talked to my friend, to find out all that I just sort of knew, and more, was true! I also love this friend so dearly because when I called I originally got the voice mail, after leaving a message I didn’t expect a call back for a day or so, it was something like 20 minutes, lol…. So I start off the call with a bunch of questions, about what’s going on are they okay I don’t even make it all the way through my questions and my friend says, “what feeling what did you get?”   I know your friends are supposed to be like this…. But not all of them are so accepting of the unexplainable, so I told my friend what I experienced we couldn’t understand it. We were both busy so we planned to talk with each other today, and this morning is when I remembered a knowing I got a week or two previous, about them embarking on a new relationship, so today I said something about feeling that they were in a new relationship, but realizing it could have really been a different a bunch of different things we were just talking about… That’s when my friends like wait a second I am in a new relationship! Having this conversation, and the support and love that emanates out of this friend no matter the time in between our phone visits, and the sheer constant acceptance that we have for each other, fills me with such appreciation and happiness that we have each other and have had each other for so many years.. I truly am blessed that I have the ability to love so deeply, and so freely. Every being deserve to feel love, for all the love that is with-in them.. Don’t know if the friend I am talking about will read this but that doesn’t matter I love you, and honestly I love every one of you who do read this! Know you are amazing and weather I talk to you daily, weekly or monthly I know your amazing and I am honored to have you in my life..

Week 22 – Silence

After the webinar Sunday, I sat in a bit of disbelief, I didn’t expect to hear resistance to living in some silence. I just looked at this as another progression point of our journey. I also smiled and felt the joy of being a little prepared for this; in my DMP I state I will have two hours of silence a week to twice a week, to nourish my soul… Now I didn’t think about that length of time, I was thinking any length of time would be AWESOME..

This little diatribe brought up some other thoughts, being a self-directed thinker / person… For some time in the progression of the mkmma I thought I was missing things by not having question at the end of most webinars, like I was sabotaging my own development….. Well this whole train of thought helped me realize this whole time I have been self-directed!

I am taking pride in making these teachings my own, getting everything I can out of them, I may not get everything right every day but, I wake up the next day and do it all over again and I will not give up!

Our best is different every day but as long as we gave it all we had right from out heart or solar plexus then my friend we have succeeded and that’s AMAZING

free flying