So I am no longer sure what week we are in the continuation, but oh man I have seriously fallen off the wagon….
A Little disappointed in that but I have been in contact with my mastermind, it’s about the only thing I’ve been able to keep up at a similar pace…. Reading has been on a all time low, so have the sits… these are the things I am not proud of.. All that being said I still firmly believe in this new way of being…. I’ve allowed my self to become so consumed by finding a new place for my family to live…. ( as a necessity we are to be out of this house by May 31, and have yet to secure a place all circumstance, by that I mean I don’t know how I have created this into being my reality) I pack, and search the internet almost daily, Oats is working pretty well for me, on the days I stick to it…
I had a rough two days of tears and fears…. my mastermind and really good friend totally had my back, thank you; you all know who you are.
So full plate, I have a very full plate……. lol and it’s a bumpy ride I’m currently on. I can’t help but observe, how what is going on right now wasn’t something I was focused on…. Actually quite the opposite to be honest, but some how this house shopping feels like a crazy maker, the ups and downs the fears the amount of TIME it’s taking!!! lol I try to laugh at it…. but man it’s not always easy at the moment….
My 6 year old and I were having a heated conversation past her bed time, and I was listening to myself yell at my baby, and tried to stop but just couldn’t so I took the route of yelling how it’s not that I’m mad at her… It’s that I’m not controlling my emotions as good as I can… So through watery eyes she says, “so your flustered?” I smiled and yelled yes. lol Then frowned more at my self for still not controlling my volume.. as we talked on I did start talking normal again, and she said something else…. She said I was getting better.
Through out this whole Mkmma Journey I have been explaining to my children that all these things I’m doing it’s so I can be an even more awesome, fun, exciting mommy. But that’s it’s hard work and I needed their understanding that these times are for me where I HAVE to be alone in quiet…… Now that I am logging todays observations I am realizing with all this packing, purging, and searching, I haven’t been making time for my new better serving habits…. I need to do those things, I like who I am when my new habits are being fed..
I love how aware I am now, how much clearer I see to the truth of a matter…. I know what I should be doing, now I guess I just have to DO IT NOW!!!!! Thanks for reading!!